My goodness starting a new school year is overwhelming.
There's always so much to do and so little time in which to actually do it. Or at least that's what it feels like. It feels like I'm Atlas and I'm holding up the world (or at least a mountain) and any second now somebody's going to come up behind me like my mom used to and bop me on the back of the knees and make me fall over. Awesome.
Having said that, aside from the occasional burst of grumpy snippiness or full-fledged, 5 minute sob-fest, I have been uncannily calm about the whole situation. No, really, it's kind of eerie. Here I am, about to embark on my first full year as a teacher (yikes), teaching a new grade (yikes yikes) and a new subject, ostensibly (yikes yikes yikes!). Despite this serenity, I AM TERRIFIED. In other words, feeling just as should be expected.
Fortunately, I have had some help and support from my fellow-teachers, something I rarely got at either of my previous jobs. So that's nice. I do feel way more comfortable knowing I have them and their vast swathes of knowledge essentially at my fingertips. Thank goodness. But still, I am viewing this school year as a "We'll know what we're doing next week when next week comes along" sort of thing. And I'm not going to feel badly about it. If I get to teach the same grade level and subject next year, then I'll probably be doing this much better. But right now, I'm feeling lucky to have any sort of plan whatsoever. Plus, I've been hanging out at the copy machine all day, and I'm pretty stoked about the fact that I have four packets all ready to go.
On a not unrelated note, have you ever noticed that lots of words get smushed together that you wouldn't think should be smushed together, but words that make sense to go together don't? For example: why isn't copy machine one word? It just feels better. And why forthwith a smushed word? Maybe that one just doesn't make sense because it's kind of archaic. But you know what I mean, right? Like tiddlywinks. What now? Of course, every now and again, they get it right (e.g. footstool. . .clearly it's a stool for your foot and should stay together because your foot and the stool stay together). Maybe I'm just cantankerous. maybe I prefer made-up words like vorpal and frindle. And possimpible.
So I'll just end with this thought: